'Relax mom!' has been my standard reply to all the worried questions my mother has ever asked me since I was in school. I always thought she went overboard worrying about too many things and often wondered,'Why doesn't she take anything lightly?'
Right from the time I was a little girl, I saw her worrying over my brothers and me. We pestered her a lot too. I now realise that we treated her like our encyclopedia...she was supposed to know everything. She would be cooking breakfast and we all would be shouting for every little thing we could not find or did not feel like looking for.(it is so much more convenient to ask your mom to do it for you,right?) In the afternoons too when she returned from her job,we were waiting to pounce on her with our zillion questions and the ever-ready statement,'Mumma bhookh lagi hai! Jaldi kuch banao.' I even remember her rushing into the kitchen without changing her clothes.
Just before leaving for school,one of us would remember some article that had to be taken to school and mom would be searching the house for it. After all the ruckus we created,she still managed to go to her workplace.
She would be upset if I reached home later than usual from school and I thought I had just been harmlessly chatting with my friends. Little did I realise the cause of her stress and started believing that worrying was like second nature to her.
I remember that whenever I was ill, my mom turned into this supermom who was 24x7 at my beck and call,not even sleeping a wink just to make sure I was comfortable.
When I joined college and went to hostel,she started to worry more. I thought,like everyone my age, that she was just being paranoid.After all, I was a responsible adult,she should have trusted me.
Then was the time I got married. She was at her 'worrying' best! Right from the smallest detail to the biggest arrangements,she was worried about everything. I thought,'I am the one getting married,am I not the one who should be scared and apprehensive?'
Every time I went home post wedding,she was concerned about whether I was happy or not at my new home. And I had been thinking she would stop worrying once I got married! Isn't a daughter's marriage the biggest responsibility?(well everyone says so at least)
When I was expecting my daughter,she was stressing about whether I was eating right. taking care of myself and staying happy! I thought,'Relax mom! I am going to be a mother soon. Stop worrying,I can take care of myself!'
The day came when my daughter was born with my mother by my side. Her mere presence gave me strength and the first thing I said to her was,'Hats off to you mom. You gave birth to three children. I am done with one.'
As my daughter grew up,I realised and understood the rationale behind every line of worry on my mom's face. I now consider my mom to be a very brave person for giving me so much freedom and letting me be the person I am. I look at my daughter and feel like never letting her out my sight. I think I am going to be a super-paranoid clingy mom...or may be I already am. It is truly said,
'Only a mother's heart knows...'
I wish I could appreciate the emotions behind my mom's stress years ago but that is the irony of life...you can't bring back time. Nevertheless, today I understand and appreciate every gesture of my mom.
I know she still worries a lot for me and my brothers. I still want to say,'Relax mom! You have done enough. Now just chill.' But I also know that once a mom,always a mom. She can't help it. So I just want to gift her something that destresses her...an aromatherapy massage maybe?
Author's note:“I’m blogging about why my mother needs to de-stress with a Parachute Advansed Aromatherapy Oil massage for the #StressFreeMom activity at BlogAdda.”